How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New School

This September, both my kiddos will be moving to a new school. We’ve had a lot of discussions about the move and what will their new school be like. Changing schools, whether because of a move or due to the transition into middle school or high school, is a major change for any child. All sorts of feelings can come along with this: anticipation, anxiety, sadness at leaving old friends, excitement, worry about making new friends…

Fortunately, there are ways that we as parents can help our kids prepare and adjust quicker to their new environment. Here are seven strategies that will help prepare your child for the often scary move to a new school.

1. Visit the new school. Take your child to visit their new school ahead of time. Check out the school grounds, help them find the entrance, and/or walk around the building if this is an option the school offers. If your child will be walking to school or taking the bus, go with them along the route a couple of times. This will let them familiarize themselves with their new environment and feel more comfortable on their first day.

2. Meet the teachers and staff. If possible, schedule a meet and greet between you and your child and their new teacher. Getting to know the teacher and other school staff will help both you and your child feel more comfortable on the first day as well as get a head start on building a relationship with the people who will with them through their school day.

3. Talk to your child about the move. Have an open and honest conversation with your child about the move. Answer any questions they may have and listen to their concerns. Acknowledge any feelings and worries they might have and reassure them they have your support.

If they have specific concerns that you can help solve, go ahead, but remember that often it’s just about listening and validating their feelings. “You’re right, it is sad to leave your friends.” Resist the urge to immediately reassure that they’ll make new friends. Allow them the space to fully express those feelings and feel that you understand, before you shift into problem-solving mode.

4. Share your own experience. Think back to a time when you had to change schools. How did you feel about the move? What were your first days like at the new school? What did you do to cope with difficult feelings and situations? Talking about your personal experience can both normalize your child’s feelings about the move, as well as remind you of how it felt and foster empathy.

5. Attend orientation events Most schools offer orientation events for new students. Attending these kind of events at the new school can help your child get a sense of what to expect as well as learn more about the school’s culture and values.

6. Arrange playdates. For younger children, see if you can arrange playdates with other students who will be attending the same school. This can help your child make friends and feel more comfortable on their first day. If you don’t know anyone, often the school can help by arranging a “buddy” in their new classroom.

7. Encourage extracurricular activities. Encourage your child to get involved in extracurricular activities at their new school. Being part of a club or team can help them make new friends and feel more connected to their new school community.

Remember that adjusting to a new school takes time, so be patient and supportive. With preparation and your support, your child can successfully transition to their new school and thrive in their new environment.