The Birth of a Daughter and a Mother | This West Coast Mommy
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The Birth of a Daughter and a Mother

Four years ago our oldest daughter entered this world all in a rush. Fact is, she’s still in a rush to get out there, get moving, explore, and get dirty. Tee’s a whirlwind of mischief, temper, and unreserved affection.

That day four years ago marks the birth of our daughter. It also marks the birth of a family and the birth of a mother.

That day four years ago marks the birth of our daughter. It also marks the birth of a family and the birth of a mother.

As we’re celebrating Tee’s birthday this weekend with cake and toys and more sugar than I want to think about, I find myself reflecting on my own “birthday”. Four years and one day ago, I was carrying a child inside my body. I was full of unknown potential and love waiting to happen. Yes, of course I loved the unborn baby in my belly. But it just can’t compare to how it felt to finally hold the child I’d been waiting to meet for nine long months. Come to think about it, it was actually more like 33 years even if I didn’t know it at the time.

I was never that little girl playing house and pretending to be a mommy. I was too busy climbing trees, building dams, and pretending to be a Transformer (usually Bumblebee, if you were wondering). As a teenager, I went through some hard times and was more focused on getting through in one piece than on thinking about the future. In my twenties and even after getting married, I still didn’t feel that strongly about having children. Most of the time I thought that having kids would tie us down and make it more difficult for me to achieve my career goals, travel, and just plain have fun.

And of course I was absolutely right. But somewhere around 30, everything changed. Despite knowing all the sacrifices that having a child would require, I wanted a baby of our own. When I saw Facebook status updates from my friends getting pregnant and having babies, I yearned for those things for myself. The day we decided to start trying for a baby, I felt an incredible lightness of spirit. I was meant to do this.

It took three months to plant that first little life, and I remember we both cried a little when I showed hubs the positive test. I was ecstatic, anxious, and terrified all at the same time. My emotions felt too large for my body, and I could hardly believe that I was supposed to go to work and keep everything to myself for the next eight weeks.

So when Tee was born four years ago, I was more than ready to be reborn. I was ready to put aside my selfishness and to forever put someone else’s needs before mine. To accept the terrifying responsibility of caring for this perfect tiny being who depended on me for her very survival. To eagerly take on the inevitable joy and anguish and vulnerability that comes with loving someone this much, forever until the day I die. To mother.
 

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21 Comments

  • I was filled with emotions the day I found out I was pregnant as well. We knew we wanted to become parents but we assumed that it would take us a while but we were lucky enough to become pregnant right away. I absolutely love being a mother and it’s hard to imagine my life before he was born. Happy birthday to your daughter!

    • I had prepared myself for 6 months or a year of trying, but nope! Ta da! It does seem like it was another life entirely before kids, doesn’t it? 🙂

  • What a beautiful entry! I actually teared up a bit reading it. I can’t believe your little monkey is 4. It has been such a wonderful and fascinating experience to watch her transform into this feisty, intelligent, and loving little person. So Happy Birthday Tee.. Mother.. Father.. Fam xo

  • This post really resonated with me. Everything really does change when you become a mother. We were married for 5 years before we decided to have a family. It sure is an amazing journey!

    • I’m glad we had a few years after getting married before having our kids too. Even though I knew it intellectually, I was still not expecting how hard it would be to find time for ourselves as a couple after the kids came along.

  • Becoming a Mom was definitely the most important change in my life. We see the world completely different once we have a little one, don’t we? Happy 4th Birthday to your little lady!!

  • The day my sons were born were the happiest day of my life. I was so ready to be a mom. It’s the best and worst job in the world, and filled with so much emotion, angst, fear, love and joy. I love the pic of you and your child above it’s a true representation of motherhood.

  • I never looked at it that way before that I was re-born. LOVE!!! My daughter was first and yes the bond the feeling of being her mother was life changing and my proudest moment yet! Happy birthday to your little girl!

  • I’ve always known I wanted kids, but I will admit that I still struggle not being selfish sometimes. It drove me insane not telling anyone when I did finally find out I was pregnant…I think it quite possibly drove my mom even more insane. ha ha

    • I hope you’re not too hard on yourself. Yes we’re moms, but we’re still people, and I think it’s normal to still be selfish once in a while. My selfish moments tend to come when my kids start calling for me in the middle of the night and I pretend I’m still sleeping (never works though).

  • This is a beautiful post and what a great picture at the start there too. Babies are magical – no two ways about it. I am laughing a bit at your description of self playing Transformer – You remind me of my daughter in that regard. My youngest would rather play Bumblebee and Transformers than play dolls any day.

    • Thanks, Paula! The little one up there is now almost five and she’s like I was. She wants to play pirates or explorers instead of playing house. 🙂