Editor’s note: We believe that all birth stories and all birth experiences matter. This post is part of an ongoing series of birth stories submitted by readers and fellow bloggers, featuring a diverse range of women and their birth experiences. This is Harmony’s terrifying experience with a high block, a rare and life threatening complication of an epidural where the anesthesia paralyzes the phrenic nerve which controls the diaphragm and breathing, leaving her physically unable to breathe.
If you would like to share your own birth story, please visit this post to learn how. ~Olivia
I went in to the hospital on May 31st to be induced at 38 weeks and 2 days. We weren’t expecting much action that night since my last induction didn’t do much more than help me dilate 1 cm with my firstborn in 2014. However, this time it started working within 30 minutes of placement.
At about 10:00 pm, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart and I had to breathe through them. I was given something to help me sleep and something for the pain, and I slept until about 2:00 am. By that time my contractions were 2 minutes apart and increasing in strength. I opted for an epidural.
The anesthesiologist arrived and had me sit on the side of the bed. I am a larger woman, and she commented on it being more difficult to place an epidural with larger patients. The first epidural kept hitting a nerve causing pain on my left side. She attempted to go straight to the right, but that just caused pain on my right side. She tried to thread the line a few more times, resulting in a few more jabbing pains in the left side of my lower back. She said this was not working so she was going to pull it and go a little higher.
Even though I’m a larger person and the anesthesiologist knew that makes placing the epidural it more difficult, she did not do any mapping or marking on my back. (The anesthesiologist from my last delivery made a lot of pen markings on my back.) This epidural seemed to go well at first, and she said she was going to do a test bolus. I felt my legs going numb instantly. It felt normal like last time until she asked me to lift my legs and remain in a sitting position on the bed. I told her I couldn’t move my legs at all. So my nurse started to lift my left leg to place it in the bed and I began to fall backwards. The doctor said, “I want you to stay upright.” I said, “I have no control of it.” Then I passed out.
I woke up to the doctor asking me if I could feel my toes or move them. I couldn’t. She asked me to squeeze her finger and then squeeze my nurse’s finger. I could weakly. I was scared I was dying, and I told my husband that I love him. Then the doctor asked my husband to leave the room. From the hospital investigation notes, it appears this is when she became hysterical, throwing stuff from the crash cart, including the intubation tube she was looking for. I passed out for the second time. I may have had oxygen at this time, but I don’t remember.
I woke up for the second time and there was a lot going on in my room. I remember nurses running around and the doctor yelling, “Where is the intubation tube? Why isn’t there an intubation tube in the crash cart?” Mel, my nurse, was on my right side saying, “Harmony, stay awake, stay with me.” I said twice, “I can’t breathe.” Then I was unable to speak anymore and I mouthed twice, “I can’t breathe.”
As I went to take a breath, I physically couldn’t. The doctor was still yelling, and I passed out again. Sometime after this happened, I was rushed to the OR in order to intubate me and prep me for an emergency c-section. I stopped breathing again on the way to the OR. The next thing I remembered was waking up in the OR recovery room with a sore throat and seeing my husband there with my new daughter.
I had to spend extra time in the recovery room because my oxygen levels would not stay above 94% when I was on room air. The fun didn’t stop there for me. Spinal headaches, persistent back pain from the first attempt at the epidural, and other issues.
Although I am physically recovering from this high spinal block, I will forever be emotionally and psychologically scarred. We’re still not certain it didn’t cause any damage to my lungs or diaphragm. I have different levels of constant chest pain, but I never know if it’s asthma, a panic attack, or damage from this experience. The day I was discharged from the hospital my body was in shock and I was having almost back-to-back panic attacks. The next day I called into my OB’s office to ask a question about my c-section scar and completely lost it over the phone. I went in and saw a Nurse Practitioner who diagnosed me with PTSD and prescribed anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication and told me to find a therapist.
My greatest fear in life is drowning, to be unable to breathe. I wanted four children, but I don’t know if psychologically I can ever have another epidural.
Everyone told me that this doctor was the hospital’s most seasoned anesthesiologist. That they’re so surprised that this happened, that it was difficult for her because of my size, that this rarely happens… I was made to feel like it was my fault because of my size, as if there aren’t ever plus size moms who deliver at this hospital. So much wrong happened on that day. Yes, I am alive. Yes, my baby is alive. Praise the Lord. However, the doctor did not handle this situation right at all.
I would tell other plus size mamas getting an epidural to ask their anesthesiologist to do some mapping. If they seem unsure about finding the right spot, tell them you want to either wait for another doctor or have them bring Respiratory in to ensure the entry point is not dangerously close to causing a high nerve block.
Advocacy is vital. Put in your birth plan that your spouse or support person is to remain in the room (even in emergency situations). I was passed out. I have snippets, but mostly I have to go by my hospital record as to what happened in that room that night. Afterwards, my husband told me that the doctor made faces and didn’t seem to believe me that the first epidural was hurting me. Was she frustrated when she did the second line and maybe being careless? If only we had said something, maybe it would have been different.
What happened to me is rare. Only 0.07% of women in labor experience this medical mistake. Hopefully, no one reading this article will go through it.
My birth experience was scary and life-changing, but two years later, here we are now. Happy and healthy! Thanks for reading.